When you have to make the case against toilet paper!

Drew Belsky:

Every comms professional loves a perfectly packaged narrative, with a great spokesperson, at a well-organized organization that understands the value of marketing and branding. 

We make a surface-level tweak, hit send on a bunch of emails, and then take all the credit for a wildly successful campaign.

But that sort of success is built on the sand of blind luck. Because sometimes you get the client who’s ready to give you a billion bucks a month…if you can just convince people they don’t need toilet paper.

“Are you [expletive] me?” Nope. We’ve all had to roll up our sleeves and show the media, stakeholders, and sometimes the clients themselves why skipping the roll is the best way to go. Here are three times you just have to dig deep and do it.

Problem #1: “So You Want Me to Just Use My Hand?”

Reporters, editors, and producers want to give loyal audiences what they expect. Send a pitch that strays from that path, and you’re likely to get the fatal reply: “It’s not a good fit.”

Having been Mr. Editor for most of my career, I’ve sent that reply thousands of times. Many editors are deeply introverted, time-strapped, and a little cranky, and that crankiness boils over when an author or agency doesn’t take “no” for an answer.

But occasionally, I would receive a resubmission that truly addressed the dreaded “not a good fit” rejection, by reframing the op-ed in terms that would stick with my readers. Then the piece suddenly worked, like an ancient Egyptian hall of mirrors that catches a sliver of sun and illuminates the whole chamber. And I’m not so cranky that I wouldn’t give an insistent winner credit where it was due.

The skillful communicator makes this magic happen by subtly zeroing in on the preconceptions and misconceptions we all have. Finding those and turning them over – including by asking for direct feedback – can transform a “no” into a “yes,” and build a lasting relationship for the next submission (which should be even better!).

The Solution: “You’d think that’s the natural alternative, and yes, that would be horrifying. But I’ll explain the unexpected way that makes sense: use cloths.

Problem #2: “But That’s Disgusting!”

Read “disgusting” expansively here. Maybe your client’s industry has fallen into ill repute thanks to a shift in the political landscape. Or maybe he’s the new CEO because a tragic Coldplay-related PR disaster just felled his predecessor. One way or another, there’s an aversion to your narrative. How do you get around it — or better, reverse it?

One of our most enjoyable campaigns could have gone putrid fast. The client was a small up-and-comer mental health nonprofit with some fascinating research. But the wrong coverage could easily have made the client’s work look “political,” which would have been a land mine in the target media environment.

We had a lot of pirouettes and arabesques to pull off on that minefield. Here’s how we did it:

• We got two independent therapists into prominent state-level outlets.
• We built a relationship with a Psychology Today columnist who featured our client. 
• We relied on the CEO’s strong personal story to land in an industry trade publication.
• And we used the client’s research to secure coverage with Fox News Digital and Newsweek.

The campaign dramatically broadened the client’s circle of influence, and politics never came to the fore. Even when some outliers mentioned it, we could tamp it back down, because we had built the infrastructure for a strong, pre-emptive counter-narrative to maintain focus.

The Solution: Do your business, rinse out the cloth while washing your hands, drop it in an airtight hamper, and do your laundry. Latrine work is always going to be at least a little gross, as any parent, pet owner, or hospice worker will attest. But cloth means less garbage, an unclogged toilet, and better cleanliness from hand to butt. Paper is actually the more disgusting option.

Problem #3: “Fine, but It’s Just Too Weird.”

A final audience to convince, sometimes ironically, is the client. He wanted to make a splash, but achieving the goal requires the PR team to take it to the next level. “I wanted to challenge you to sell a narrative against toilet paper. But I didn’t expect this!”

This scenario pops up most often in more challenging campaigns — for example, to raise brand awareness of a consumer product, without looking like advertising, by subtly inserting it into all manner of unconventional outlets. It’s great to have an enthusiastic client, but sometimes he blanches when he sees your “out of the box” thinking as more “jack-in-the-box.”

We already talked about digging up misconceptions. That will help here, too, but beyond that, the key to selling “weird” is confidence with roots. If you want to land a sushi chain in a market that’s obsessed with Mexican food, or convince a consumer base to pay more money for jeans deliberately torn by the manufacturer, you can’t come cringing to your client with big ideas.

But again, “with roots.” Do your research, map out your pitch, and pop a breath mint before you make your case. Every leader has his followers, but good leaders inspire others to think and act like them.

The Solution: Sure, if most people aren’t doing it, it’s “weird” by definition. But you can own the weirdness of the “no toilet paper” lifestyle without anyone catching on, except maybe by noticing how much happier, healthier, and richer you look.

We’re all grateful to get the campaign that writes itself, but that’s never going to be every campaign. It’s only a matter of time before your next big-budget client expects you to sell a stinker, or at least what looks like one. Don’t come at it with just single-ply.

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Drew Belsky is Senior Editor for the public relations and public affairs firm Proven Media Solutions.