The Confidence Paradox: Why Smart Leaders Often Feel Like Imposters

11 March 2025 Reading Time: 4 minutes

by Advita Patel:

Do you ever wonder why some of the most capable leaders struggle with confidence the most? It’s not just you; there’s a fascinating paradox at play.

You might be surprised to learn that the higher people climb in their careers, particularly in comms and HR, the more likely they are to question their abilities. I’ve coached senior leaders who can brilliantly guide organisations through complex changes yet still wake up wondering if today’s the day everyone discovers they’re “not good enough.”

The uncomfortable reality of leadership confidence

The truth about confidence that nobody tells you is that the most competent professionals often struggle with it. Why? Because they’re aware enough to know what they don’t know.

Traditional confidence advice tends to focus on power poses, affirmations, and other external fixes. However, for experienced professionals, these approaches miss the mark entirely. They feel shallow because they are shallow, and they don’t address the nuanced relationship between self-awareness and doubt.

When you really understand communication, culture-building, or leadership, you also see all the ways things can go sideways. That awareness doesn’t make you less capable—it makes you more thoughtful. But without the right approach, it can kick off doubt spirals that chip away at your impact.

What DISC reveals about confidence patterns

Working as a DISC assessor has shown me something fascinating about confidence—it looks dramatically different across personality types. Most confidence advice only works for certain styles.

Take those with high D (Dominance or Red) preferences. These goal-oriented, direct professionals often display what we traditionally recognise as “confidence” – decisive action, clear opinions, and comfort with risk. Their confidence challenges typically revolve around slowing down enough to bring others along.

Meanwhile, those with strong I (Influence or Yellow) preferences might look confident in social settings while secretly wondering if their ideas have any meat behind the enthusiasm. Their outgoing nature can hide real worries about being taken seriously.

Professionals with high S (Steadiness or Green) often build confidence quietly through thorough preparation and relationship-building. Their thoughtful approach gets overlooked in workplaces that reward quick responses over considered ones.

And those with pronounced C (Conscientiousness or Blue) tendencies might appear reserved when they’re actually building confidence through analysis and data. They may struggle to express conviction before they feel they have sufficient information.

The problem is that most workplaces only notice and reward confidence when it looks like D and I styles. This leaves lots of capable professionals feeling constantly not-good-enough, not because they lack confidence, but because their type of confidence goes unnoticed.

Three confidence myths that hold communicators back

Myth #1: Confident people don’t experience doubt

This damaging myth suggests that real confidence means never questioning yourself. In reality, the most effective leaders maintain a healthy relationship with doubt and they welcome it as a thinking tool without letting it become an identity.

What replaces this myth is understanding that confidence isn’t the absence of doubt, but the ability to act thoughtfully despite it.

Myth #2: “Fake it till you make it” works

I dislike this common advice as it creates performers, not leaders. When we push people to put on a confidence show, we create anxiety (because keeping up an act is exhausting) and block real connection (because people can tell something’s off).

A better approach is to “Navigate it while you build it.” This means acknowledging where you are in your confidence journey while actively developing the skills that create genuine confidence.

Myth #3: Confidence is a personality trait

Maybe the most harmful myth is that confidence is something you’re born with or it’s just part of your personality. This stops people from growing their confidence because they think they’d need to become a totally different person.

The reality is that confidence is a skill set built through specific practices, not an inherent trait. It’s accessible to every personality type, though it may look different for each.

Building genuine confidence practices

If traditional confidence advice falls short, what actually works?

Here are approaches I’ve seen transform the confidence of senior communicators and HR professionals:

1. Identify your confidence blueprint

Most confidence problems come from beliefs we’ve never questioned about what confidence should look like. These mental pictures often come from childhood or society, and they just don’t fit who we naturally are.

The fix is seeing how confidence naturally shows up in YOUR personality. A thoughtful S-style leader won’t suddenly love making snap decisions, but they can build rock-solid confidence in their ability to bring people together and spot issues others miss.

2. Develop confidence through contribution, not comparison

Nothing destroys confidence faster than comparison – comparison is the thief of joy after all. Yet many professionals consistently measure themselves against colleagues with completely different strengths and backgrounds.

Redirecting focus from comparison to contribution creates sustainable confidence. External validation becomes less critical when you clearly see the unique value you bring—whether that’s thoughtful analysis, creative problem-solving, or relationship-building.

3. Build confidence through deliberate exposure, not avoidance

Confidence grows by gradually expanding your comfort zone, not by avoiding discomfort. This means identifying specific scenarios that trigger doubt and creating structured opportunities to navigate them successfully.

For a comms professional anxious about challenging executive decisions, this might mean preparing thoroughly for one important pushback per month. For an HR leader uncomfortable with public speaking, it could mean volunteering for progressively more visible presentation opportunities.

The key is matching that stretch with reflection and noting what worked, what you learnt, and how you’ll tweak things next time. This builds up proof that challenges those limiting beliefs.

The workplace impact of confident communication

When leaders develop genuine confidence, workplace culture transforms. Communication gets clearer because confident communicators don’t hide behind fancy words or wishy-washy statements. Decision-making improves because confident leaders welcome different viewpoints without feeling attacked when someone disagrees.

Most importantly, confident leaders create psychologically safe environments where team members can take risks, share concerns, and innovate without fear. They model that mistakes are opportunities for growth, not evidence of inadequacy.

Are you ready to decode confidence for yourself?

If you’re tired of feeling less confident than your capabilities warrant, you’re not alone. The good news? You don’t need a personality transplant to develop genuine confidence – you just need the right framework and practices.

I work with communicators and HR professionals who want to lead with their full capabilities without pretending to be someone they’re not. If you’re curious about decoding confidence for yourself or your team, let’s talk. Email me at hello@commsrebel.com to explore how confidence coaching might help you make a bigger impact without the exhaustion of impostor feelings.

Because the world needs leaders who combine competence with genuine confidence – especially those who don’t fit the conventional mould.

Photo by Alan Levine

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Advita Patel, founder of CommsRebel, helps organisations cultivate inclusive cultures through effective communications so all colleagues can belong and thrive in their work. She’s also the co-founder of A Leader Like Me and The Asian Communications Network and is currently the President of the Chartered Institute of Public Relations. In 2023 she co-authored a best selling book, Building a Culture of Inclusivity, with Priya Bates.

Written by: Editor